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Saturday, 27 August 2016

Jar Salads: WTF?

Hannah Barnes
Food fads come and go, with a sweet few staying with us long enough to make it into the staple shop, or even create their very own back lash movements a la the recent red velvet scandal. Over the summer though it’s the healthy foods that have been fading about. The latest of these - adorning pinterest boards and Instagram feeds aplenty – is the jar salad. Basically, it’s a salad, but some maverick out there went and popped it into a jar and hey presto: a food fad is born.

The whole things a bit mental really, as if forcing yourself to eat salad isn’t difficult enough (just kidding guys) you’ve now got to be dexterous enough to coax one out of a jar – seriously, WTF?

So, in an attempt to understand this madness, I tried to eat a salad out of a jar and here’s what happened.

1.  I was pretty unimpressed. As with most of my picture taking attempts, the thing I created in the only jar I could get my hands on at short notice (admittedly a drinking jar), looked nothing like the whimsically appealing jar salads I’ve been seeing all over the internet.

2. I’m all round underwhelmed really. So it looks like shit, but I’m relatively sure that’s down to no one but myself (and the fact that it’s a salad in a jar). My problem now is thus: you just can’t fit that much salad in a jar.

3. I’m temporarily appeased. I decide that less salad means less time eating salad from a jar and this thought has me pretty jolly. Eating salad from a jar is not the kind of thing that would impress younger me as a future career prospect. Eating salad from a jar is freaking dull.

4. I’m unlikely to ever eat again. Getting the salad out of the jar was going pretty well for the first few bites, but then I hit the mid-section of my jar salad and things got real. Getting a fork into a jar and spearing salad leaves is one thing, removing said fork from the jar once there’s a task and a half.

5. I’ve abandoned my first fork. Having wedged it into the jar in such a way that giants could not prize it out and am diving back in with a second, of the dessert fork variety.

6. I’m pretty sure this is what Juice Plus is for. I’ve never been an advocate of drinking your nutrients or replacing real fruit and veg with tablets before, but if you’re going to use a drinking jar to house your salads, you should probably just get to the point.

7. I’m still hungry. So the salad is done, all but the bit wedged to the end of my lost fork, and although it’s taken longer than expected to troff – I’ll say it again: you really can’t fit that much salad into a jar.

8. I have an extremely unpleasant jar to wash. I disliked my jar salad before I ate it, but the aesthetics appeal even less now that I have a drinking jar smeared with salad dressing, anchovy bits that's bonded to an old fork.

9. I’m never eating a salad from a jar again. Give me a plate any day because sometimes we get it right first time around. The plates are here to stay. The jar is out.

10. I’ve probably just wasted a good 30 minutes of my life eating salad from a jar. Things are getting existential and I’m going to have to go and lie down now.

Had a jar salad? Feel free to rant about them in the comments section with me!

Hannah Barnes / Author & Editor

I keep myself busy with my small business; The Loft Gifts, the period poverty charity I run; The Crimson Wave, writing here and for vaious platforms and a growing menagerie of household pets.


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