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Thursday, 4 August 2016

Netflix & Chill

Hannah Barnes

I'm the first to admit how much I love Netflix. I love Netflix so much my boyfriend has been forced to take up new hobbies now that he's basically single. He did make an effort to immerse himself in Breaking Bad with me and its little bro' Better Call Saul but, mostly, he just isn't interested in the many epic TV shows that rock my world.

Currently, I'm devoted to Pretty Little Liars but, in the vain of many a proud Netflix Marathon Runner, my obsession changes weekly dependent on the amount of episodes the God's of Netflix are willing to serve up.

So, in order to give the countless hours I spend glued to these shows some meaning I decided to share my wisdom with you - lest you ever hear the call of the scarlet siren.

How it's done...

1. One must never get too attached to the supporting characters. 9/10 won't make it to the next season.

2. Suspend your disbelief. You're supposed to be watching this over the course of many years - not a single weekend, so you're going to have to let the many, many continuity errors pass.

3. On that note you should also remember that anything is possible in the paradigm worlds of most Netflix shows. Try your hand at casting spells, blatant disregard for the law or comically looking into the camera to share your inner most thoughts and you'll be detained in a prison or mental institute for evaluation.

4. Well stocked cupboards are vital - preferably you want all of your foodstuffs to take less than 15 seconds to grab and prepare.

5. After the third 'are you still watching' check up, the guilt will subside, I promise. The washing up can wait.

6. Making plans is futile - unless they involve friends bringing over more snacks and joining your vigil.

7. But don't sign up to watch with someone else unless you're willing to abstain when you're home early from work with time on your hands.

8. If the 15 second countdown has happened, and the next episode is starting, you'll watch it despite the now dwindling 3 hours of sleep you assigned yourself.

9. There is no heartbreak quite like a final season. You can always start all over again, but it's never the same.

10. You are not a rogue chemist, investigating the mysterious murder of a frenemy, involved with vampires in any way, attending community college or part of an East London gang. You have work in the morning and you should probably get some sleep.

If you've got any brilliant Netflix tips, facts or observations - let me know!

Hannah Barnes / Author & Editor

I keep myself busy with my small business; The Loft Gifts, the period poverty charity I run; The Crimson Wave, writing here and for vaious platforms and a growing menagerie of household pets.


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